STAYING INLOVE

I've been contemplating on how to write about this subject without coming off the WRONG way... BUT then I came to the conclusion that there is NO Wrong or Right way to LOVE :) Just sitting here looking back to all the time's this year that I've thought about MY Husband, our relationship & Our commitments to one another.... This past August we had our 8th Anniversary :) HAPPY we made it this far... HOPING to make it  as far as FOREVER :) Marriage is a BEAUTIFUL thing of UNITY... GOOD & BAD it STILL remains BEAUTIFUL. One thing is very CLEAR ... You must FALL IN LOVE, OVER & OVER AGAIN with the same person to keep this FIRE going.... I think with anything in life, Things seem to dwindle after a certain amount of time.....TODAY feel's like those NEWLY WED day's :) U know.... U can't get enough of each other & U feel like U can't breath without them :). Tuia & I have been the BEST of FRIEND's, We are so open about EVERYTHING...We actually started out as FRIENDS which I think has HELPED out TON's on those days that feel bumpy ;).... He was Joking & Telling me how LUCKY I AM to have him...:) He is TOTALLY RIGHT.... Yet I feel like ... HE IS JUST AS LUCKY:)) WE R A PERFECT FIT 4 one another :)  I KNOW NOW, He is the BEST THAT I have ever had, Satisfied with the Fantastic Family we have established & HONORED that he choose me to be his wife & ETERNAL COMPANION...... I SMILE & We both laugh @ the trials we have defeated this past year... We R NOT in the CLEAR BUT WE ARE STRIVING to become closer to one another & to God.... ALL THINGS ARE PERFECTED THREW GOD & ONLY he alone can accomplish ANYTHING. LOVE is such a GRAND emotion to convey, acquire, emulate & portray!!! For me ONE thing is far greater then FALLING in love & that is STAYING IN LOVE. :) Happy New Years to EVERYONE & May God Bless you in all your RIGHTEOUS Endeavor's

IN THE MOMENT

As we come to the end of another year, My mind reflects on 2010. It has certainly been a Memorable year :) I totally went OUT of my comfort zone into a dimension of NEW UNDERSTANDING, Lost 30+ pounds in the summer, Joined a Womans Rugby team, & found NEW FORTITUDE within MYSELF :)) This year has definitely been the HARDEST in all relationships, with Family, Friends, Acquittance's & even with myself, BUT in the end IT ALL WORKED OUT.... This year as things where rendered to me, I did something different... I LIVED IN THE MOMENT took everything as it came & did my best to handle things in a COOL, COLLECT & CALM way. Never fully knowing what would happen next, yet HOPING for things to be OK, I spent MANY DAYS on my knee's, poring my HEART to one who has NEVER & WILL NEVER LEAVE ME. Yet in the mist of confusion, uncertainty & sorrow, I found PEACE, LOVE, & ASSURANCE.... Each day I am changing, doing my best to see that transformation is for the BETTER of myself & my surroundings. EVERYDAY is a challenge and transition of IMPROVEMENT.
I understand clearly that I ONLY have stewardship over my children, that they do not belong to me but to someone with a higher power then I.... Since I have come to that assumption I have adjusted myself accordingly. Each day when I see these 4 gifts from GOD for ME. I AM TRULY GRATIFIED :) My Kids.... They teach me numerous things, although I admit I couldn't see from the beginning, I'm content with the knowledge I have NOW. Everyday I'm absorbing all that I can in those moments, Ive learned to see different moments of time in slow motion :) It doesn't just happen in the movies it happens in REAL LIFE :) little space & pockets of time stored away for that day when I want to recall them.... So as of Friday Im starting up a Journal AGAIN... I am CONFIDENT this time will LAST :) So that someday My kids, grandkids, generations behind me can learn from... Threw anything & IN EVERYTHING there is GOOD, Day by day I sit & try to capture all those great & astonishing moments of NOW :)

WHEN ITS OKAY

Soooo As U can C... I have NOT exactly gotten on TOP of Blogging ... As the Tongan in me would say HHHHOOOOIIII :) I recently seen on one of my Aunty's Face Book... A quote that really got me thinking.... Here's the quote  "In the end EVERYTHING is OK, If it's NOT OK then its NOT the END" :)) This little quote made me Smile... SO that means I AGREE :).... I mean in MY life ITS TRUE.... If I'm left uncertain, Wondering or even Angry about SOMETHING or SOMEONE... The case is... I'M not OK with it & It never ended... BUT I also have to say that it is all MY DOING. I'm one of those people who believe that YOU R the ONLY person who can control how U FEEL... Call me crazy but thats how I feel. Of course Ur surroundings, situations & People around U can contribute to how U feel BUT U R the only one who decides what kind of Story U want to live, The only author to Ur very own fairy tale, U decide when U want to be the hero or the Villain, If it's a "happily ever after" or if its a "to be continued" :) I feel like many Unexplained things have happened to me so far in my life, MOST Happy but a FEW VERY Bad ... Like anyone its left scar's that have REMINDED me to focus on the POSITIVE ....A FIRM BELIEVER in knowing that there CAN BE POSITIVE IN ANYTHING NEGATIVE....BUT as years have gone by I see MORE CLEAR that things only get better IF I ALLOW it too.

Took me years to FINALLY let out a shame that was never mine to HOLD.I understand NOW that it WAS & IS NOT MY FAULT... Yet those that I told all seemed to respond the same .... telling my store I hear OVER & OVER "I would have NEVER thought" ... I trained MYSELF well in showing EVERYONE only ONE side of me... THE HAPPY ME & I choose to ALWAYS SHOW that side of me.... One day I will find the courage to speak for those who have NO VOICE to stand in front of room filled people just to encourage a FEW to speak out also.... NEGATIVE situations in Ur life are NOT WHO you are, But they contribute to What U will become... ONLY YOU DECIDE if its contribution is GOOD or BAD. Many Drown in SORROW...YET OTHERS RESCUE THEMSELVES. I have ALREADY had to make my stand ONCE in my life & thou others felt it was wrong I KNEW I WAS RIGHT IN DOING WHAT IS RIGHT. In that situation I WILL stand BLAMELESS before GOD. I have felt BROKEN a time or two BUT I choose to keep my head above the water & am GRATEFUL that I am not SHATTERED. I THANK GOD for NEVER leaving my side THREW IT ALL.When U finally see that Ur OK with things, that Ur at PEACE, U become free from YOURSELF..... So true when they say "FORGIVENESS FREE's THE SOUL" FORGIVING others gives U the freedom from being in that space of captivity.

In THE END its ALWAYS OK, & If its NOT okay then MAYBE U have not reached the END. :)