STAYING INLOVE

I've been contemplating on how to write about this subject without coming off the WRONG way... BUT then I came to the conclusion that there is NO Wrong or Right way to LOVE :) Just sitting here looking back to all the time's this year that I've thought about MY Husband, our relationship & Our commitments to one another.... This past August we had our 8th Anniversary :) HAPPY we made it this far... HOPING to make it  as far as FOREVER :) Marriage is a BEAUTIFUL thing of UNITY... GOOD & BAD it STILL remains BEAUTIFUL. One thing is very CLEAR ... You must FALL IN LOVE, OVER & OVER AGAIN with the same person to keep this FIRE going.... I think with anything in life, Things seem to dwindle after a certain amount of time.....TODAY feel's like those NEWLY WED day's :) U know.... U can't get enough of each other & U feel like U can't breath without them :). Tuia & I have been the BEST of FRIEND's, We are so open about EVERYTHING...We actually started out as FRIENDS which I think has HELPED out TON's on those days that feel bumpy ;).... He was Joking & Telling me how LUCKY I AM to have him...:) He is TOTALLY RIGHT.... Yet I feel like ... HE IS JUST AS LUCKY:)) WE R A PERFECT FIT 4 one another :)  I KNOW NOW, He is the BEST THAT I have ever had, Satisfied with the Fantastic Family we have established & HONORED that he choose me to be his wife & ETERNAL COMPANION...... I SMILE & We both laugh @ the trials we have defeated this past year... We R NOT in the CLEAR BUT WE ARE STRIVING to become closer to one another & to God.... ALL THINGS ARE PERFECTED THREW GOD & ONLY he alone can accomplish ANYTHING. LOVE is such a GRAND emotion to convey, acquire, emulate & portray!!! For me ONE thing is far greater then FALLING in love & that is STAYING IN LOVE. :) Happy New Years to EVERYONE & May God Bless you in all your RIGHTEOUS Endeavor's

IN THE MOMENT

As we come to the end of another year, My mind reflects on 2010. It has certainly been a Memorable year :) I totally went OUT of my comfort zone into a dimension of NEW UNDERSTANDING, Lost 30+ pounds in the summer, Joined a Womans Rugby team, & found NEW FORTITUDE within MYSELF :)) This year has definitely been the HARDEST in all relationships, with Family, Friends, Acquittance's & even with myself, BUT in the end IT ALL WORKED OUT.... This year as things where rendered to me, I did something different... I LIVED IN THE MOMENT took everything as it came & did my best to handle things in a COOL, COLLECT & CALM way. Never fully knowing what would happen next, yet HOPING for things to be OK, I spent MANY DAYS on my knee's, poring my HEART to one who has NEVER & WILL NEVER LEAVE ME. Yet in the mist of confusion, uncertainty & sorrow, I found PEACE, LOVE, & ASSURANCE.... Each day I am changing, doing my best to see that transformation is for the BETTER of myself & my surroundings. EVERYDAY is a challenge and transition of IMPROVEMENT.
I understand clearly that I ONLY have stewardship over my children, that they do not belong to me but to someone with a higher power then I.... Since I have come to that assumption I have adjusted myself accordingly. Each day when I see these 4 gifts from GOD for ME. I AM TRULY GRATIFIED :) My Kids.... They teach me numerous things, although I admit I couldn't see from the beginning, I'm content with the knowledge I have NOW. Everyday I'm absorbing all that I can in those moments, Ive learned to see different moments of time in slow motion :) It doesn't just happen in the movies it happens in REAL LIFE :) little space & pockets of time stored away for that day when I want to recall them.... So as of Friday Im starting up a Journal AGAIN... I am CONFIDENT this time will LAST :) So that someday My kids, grandkids, generations behind me can learn from... Threw anything & IN EVERYTHING there is GOOD, Day by day I sit & try to capture all those great & astonishing moments of NOW :)

WHEN ITS OKAY

Soooo As U can C... I have NOT exactly gotten on TOP of Blogging ... As the Tongan in me would say HHHHOOOOIIII :) I recently seen on one of my Aunty's Face Book... A quote that really got me thinking.... Here's the quote  "In the end EVERYTHING is OK, If it's NOT OK then its NOT the END" :)) This little quote made me Smile... SO that means I AGREE :).... I mean in MY life ITS TRUE.... If I'm left uncertain, Wondering or even Angry about SOMETHING or SOMEONE... The case is... I'M not OK with it & It never ended... BUT I also have to say that it is all MY DOING. I'm one of those people who believe that YOU R the ONLY person who can control how U FEEL... Call me crazy but thats how I feel. Of course Ur surroundings, situations & People around U can contribute to how U feel BUT U R the only one who decides what kind of Story U want to live, The only author to Ur very own fairy tale, U decide when U want to be the hero or the Villain, If it's a "happily ever after" or if its a "to be continued" :) I feel like many Unexplained things have happened to me so far in my life, MOST Happy but a FEW VERY Bad ... Like anyone its left scar's that have REMINDED me to focus on the POSITIVE ....A FIRM BELIEVER in knowing that there CAN BE POSITIVE IN ANYTHING NEGATIVE....BUT as years have gone by I see MORE CLEAR that things only get better IF I ALLOW it too.

Took me years to FINALLY let out a shame that was never mine to HOLD.I understand NOW that it WAS & IS NOT MY FAULT... Yet those that I told all seemed to respond the same .... telling my store I hear OVER & OVER "I would have NEVER thought" ... I trained MYSELF well in showing EVERYONE only ONE side of me... THE HAPPY ME & I choose to ALWAYS SHOW that side of me.... One day I will find the courage to speak for those who have NO VOICE to stand in front of room filled people just to encourage a FEW to speak out also.... NEGATIVE situations in Ur life are NOT WHO you are, But they contribute to What U will become... ONLY YOU DECIDE if its contribution is GOOD or BAD. Many Drown in SORROW...YET OTHERS RESCUE THEMSELVES. I have ALREADY had to make my stand ONCE in my life & thou others felt it was wrong I KNEW I WAS RIGHT IN DOING WHAT IS RIGHT. In that situation I WILL stand BLAMELESS before GOD. I have felt BROKEN a time or two BUT I choose to keep my head above the water & am GRATEFUL that I am not SHATTERED. I THANK GOD for NEVER leaving my side THREW IT ALL.When U finally see that Ur OK with things, that Ur at PEACE, U become free from YOURSELF..... So true when they say "FORGIVENESS FREE's THE SOUL" FORGIVING others gives U the freedom from being in that space of captivity.

In THE END its ALWAYS OK, & If its NOT okay then MAYBE U have not reached the END. :)

ME TODAY

Where to start... Hummmm SOOO Much on my mind... Going to spend sometime with my Brother in-law because as U can C, I really don't know the ropes to BLOG World :) BUT... I'm willing to learn.... Excited to personalize my blog with a touch of BET... Sometimes think I'm too into myself... BUT I really feel ... ITS ABOUT TIME I got back on MY LIST of important things to take care of right along with ... KIDs, Husband, House ..etc.. U know ALL things that most Mom's loose themselves in...NOT saying that its BAD... I just realize that it doesn't work for me & I can say I'm struggling BUT happy with the choice of giving myself some TIME with ME :)) HARD cause U feel SELFISH, Thou I realize I do better in all relationships in MY life when ME comes somewhere in the top :)

My family & I had a BLAST in California for Halloween... IT WAS a much NEEDED trip for my Marriage & Myself... Like I said road trips is what we do most of... Giving US time to TALK things out set NEW goals & RECONNECT with each other.... Working on New things with My kids & Husband, MY Little FAMILY is MORE then I could ever ask for... I have become a BETTER person because of these 5... Always taking me to my extreme Happiness & ALSO my extreme Sadness.. STILL I wouldn't take ANY of my experiences GOOD & BAD away... Cause it is WHY I am who I am today.... In a month where we celebrate THANKSGIVING I am TRULY grateful to GOD for ALWAYS guiding me threw ALL choice's I have made in my life this far :) Helping me deal with the choices of others that affect me directly & for Helping me strengthen my faith in all that I know to be true.

I Believe that all situations, people & circumstance is what U make it to be... U know just like they say "ADDITUDE IS EVERYTHING" I do my BEST to stay Optimistic about LIFE after all there is ALWAYS HOPE :) @ least in my world there is... Happy to be ALIVE, have the opportunity not only to live but to love with & have GR8 individuals threw out my life :) Doing what I can to give back to those that HELP me ALWAYS & to be some kind of POSITIVE influence to those that come in contact with me... Hoping the BEST for a world I see FULL of GOODNESS. THANKFUL 4 ALL I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH. :))

GET-A-WAY

I'm a stay @ home Mom & have been for 3 yrs. Now... Soooo when ever we get away its AWESOME for me :)) My husband for all of the time that I've know him is a PICK & GO kind of man .... Meaning when he wants to GO its time to GO.... Had Halloween Planed already But as of last night my plans have been changed 4 me... NORMAL for my world :) & I don't mind Because every get a way UNPLANNED is always a GR8 one :)) Packing is NOT one of my strengths BUT getting things DONE is :)) Nice to have a companion that LOVEs to get a way... Its been VERY REWARDING for me.... Almost all our family trips have been Road trips...BUT it does give us ALLOT of time to TALK thinking things out, Sing & laugh together :)) We are like any other family getting by paycheck to paycheck... But these TIMES we spend together is worth MORE then all the money in the world :) I AM BLESSED & HAPPY TO LOVE & BE LOVED :))

HERE I GO ;)

Here go's EVERYTHING :))

I've been blogging on my Bebo page here & there for a little while. My little sister encouraged me to start a blog of my own :)) Grateful for people in my life that introduce & support me in things they see I love to do.... I'm not a English major or even a writer BUT I do like to share my thoughts & ideas... I only type what I feel & I only feel what I go threw... Don't know where to start with this new adventure but will do my BEST to keep up with it.
Don't have much on my mind @ the moment cause I'm thinking of all the things I'm SUPPOSE to be doing @ the current moment :) Just getting started & hoping to keep it going :)